Expectation is a never-ending process.
Many people say, “Do not expect anything from anyone.”
But honestly, how do you teach your mind and soul to stop expectation?
When you give your time, love, care, emotions, responsibility, and full energy to someone — and in return you get nothing — expectation automatically comes in.
You don’t invite it.
It rises from inside you because you are human.
1. Expectation Is Born When You Give Deeply
Expectation does not come from greed.
Expectation comes when:
- You give with honesty
- You give with responsibility
- You give with love and care
- You give again and again
When there is love, emotion, and responsibility from your side, expectation becomes natural.
It is very hard to remove expectation when your heart is fully involved.
2. My Real Question About Expectation
My question about expectation is very simple and very real:
How can I decide how much to give when the person is my closest one?
How can I measure love for my son, my husband, my family?
When someone is part of your life — when they feel like you —
you don’t calculate.
You just give.
And when you don’t get the same love and care in return,
expectation silently enters the heart.
This is where expectation becomes confusing and painful.
3. Expectation in a Mother’s Love Is Different
Expectation in a mother’s heart works differently.
For a son:
- You give 100%
- You don’t expect return
- You don’t count effort
Here, expectation is not the problem.
This is pure, unconditional love.
You should never feel guilty for this kind of expectation-free giving.
But one healthy expectation still comes in your mind — respect.
A mother may not expect anything back,
but expecting basic respect in words and behavior is necessary,
especially in today’s children.
4. Expectation Hurts in Adult Relationships
Expectation hurts the most in adult-to-adult relationships, like marriage.
Why?
Because:
- Both are equals
- Both are responsible
- Both should give and receive
When one person keeps giving and the other keeps taking, expectation turns into pain.
A signal that:
- The relationship is unbalanced
- One person is carrying more emotional weight
- Love is becoming duty instead of partnership
This pain is not because you expect too much —
it is because you are giving alone.
it is a signal that something is unbalanced.
5. The Real Problem Is Silent Expectation
The biggest problem with expectation is that it stays silent.
We:
- Adjust quietly
- Hope silently
- Cry internally
- Expect without saying
We don’t speak because:
- We don’t want conflict
- We don’t want to look demanding
- We don’t want to hurt the relationship
But this silent expectation keeps growing inside.
Over time, it:
- Drains us emotionally
- Creates resentment
- Makes us feel invisible
- Turns love into tiredness
Silent expectation does not protect relationships.
It slowly weakens them.
Speaking needs gently is not selfish —
it is emotional honesty.
6. The Truth: You Don’t Kill Expectation, You Mature It
You cannot remove expectation completely.
You are human, not a machine.
Expectation comes with love, care, and attachment.
So trying to kill expectation only creates guilt and confusion.
What you can do is mature your expectation.
Maturing expectation means:
- You don’t stop loving
- You don’t stop caring
- You stop self-abandonment
You stop:
- Ignoring your own pain
- Giving endlessly without balance
- Losing yourself to keep peace
A mature expectation respects both:
- Your love for others
- Your responsibility toward yourself
This is not becoming cold.
This is becoming emotionally healthy.
Expectation reduces when self-respect increases.
7. My Understanding of Expectation Today
Today, I understand expectation differently.
Expectation is:
- The pain of giving your best and feeling unseen
- The cry of a soul asking for balance
- A human emotion, not a weakness
Expectation doesn’t hurt.
Feeling invisible after giving everything hurts.
Conclusion: Expectation Is Human, Not Wrong
We all live with expectation.
We all struggle with expectation.
And that is okay.
Expectation does not make you weak.
It means you care.
It means you are emotionally present.
You don’t need to remove expectation from your life.
You only need to stop losing yourself in the name of love.
Healthy expectation teaches us balance:
- Love others deeply
- Respect yourself equally
When love is balanced with self-respect,
expectation stops hurting and starts guiding.
Expectation is human.
Balance is healing.
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